ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
