Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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