there's paper in my vomit.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
