You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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