Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
