Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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