i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
