I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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