come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
people are starting to question the shark bite story
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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