All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
