Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
