when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He passed out mid-signature
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
