nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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