try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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