at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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