I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
