Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
