What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
