Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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