If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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