batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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