just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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