I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize