Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
