Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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