Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Randomize
