Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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