their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
