LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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