One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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