she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
