When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My penis needs a shock collar
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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