Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this beer tastes like vomit already
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
