Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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