yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize