why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
