Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
