I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
