All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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