haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
