Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
