sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
