The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
