I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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