I must be too annoying 4 u.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
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I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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