it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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