he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
