Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
