brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
