He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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