And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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