There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
