I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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