Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
