So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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