just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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