She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think i have two assholes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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