Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
