She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
