the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think my vagina is haunted
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
