Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
