goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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