Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
